Hi friends! This will be my first “rogue” post, if you will, and I’m super excited about it! To me, this blog is more than just a place where I can write about trying new hobbies, but also a place to process and to share my thoughts about life. This post is all about marriage. I love marriage and I am a firm believer in dating your spouse, whether you’ve been married 5 or 50 years.
As some of you know, I was recently married a little over a year ago at 22 years old. Usually when people find out I’m married, they are surprised because I’m “too young to be married!” Which makes sense, because in our culture getting married that young is often because there’s kids involved or the husband is going into the military. In fact, according to this article, the average age for a first marriage is the highest it’s ever been, and almost half of millennials don’t want to get married until they are in their 30s.
I’ve seen many articles circulating around with catchy headlines like “20 things to do in your 20’s” or “21 reasons being single is actually the best,” which are really just lists encouraging people to do whatever they want with gifs to prove their point. I’m all about self-discovery and learning how to “adult,” but I don’t think those things are incompatible with getting married young. In fact, I think getting married young is beneficial in many ways, and here are just a few!
- There’s someone to listen to you – your 20s can be a really rough time in life, and if you’re like me, you need to verbally process it all with someone! While parents and friends are there for you too, there’s nothing like coming home to your spouse and telling them how crappy (or great) your day was and having them there to listen to you in real time (then cuddle with you after!)
- You can bounce ideas off each other – your spouse is a great person to do this with because they know you the best! Case in point, I recently read a message I was about to send to someone to Matt to ask if I was coming off the right way, and he helped me fix it so I sounded way less creepy than I would have 🙂
- You have someone to help you figure out how to pay bills, loans, budget – one of the times I appreciate Matt the most is when he helps me figure out how to do adult things, like registering a new car or keeping track of a budget. That is no fun to do by yourself, and let’s be real, your roommate is probably not going to want to do that all with you.
- Always have someone there when everyone else is living their own single life – in the age of facebook, instagram and snapchat, it’s easy to look at everyone else’s “perfect” life and feel lonely. I’m guessing most of you, like me, don’t have a ton of money to travel around everywhere and eat at fancy hipster restaurants all the time. Having a spouse really taught me how to be content with my situation in life. I may not be doing some things my single friends can do, but I have a best friend wherever I go, even if it’s just a quick trip to the beach, and that’s amazing!
- It’s easier to find friends – when you get married, you basically inherit a whole other friend group! You may not get along with all of your spouse’s friends, but odds are you will gain a few. And the more you get involved in things with your spouse, the more chance you have of gaining new friends – which are so important to have when you’re young!
- You build memories with someone who will be there the rest of your life – this has been a huge blessing to me! I love that when I’m 30, 40, or 50, I can look back on my years as a young adult and share so many memories with Matt. We can laugh about silly things we did before we knew better or reminisce about how we struggled to start our careers. I love that we can share that!
- They push you to do things you wouldn’t normally do – this is a huge one! When you’re older, you’re more set in your ways and it’s harder to get out of your comfort zone. But when you get married young, your spouse can really be a driving force to help you try new things! For example, I have
forcedencouraged Matt to try different kinds of food he wouldn’t normally eat, and Matt’s helped me learn more about the game of basketball!
- You’ll have lots of fun memories of when you were a poor young newlywed couple – for example, Matt made a table and chairs out of the boxes we moved with and we ate off them for probably a few weeks until we invited people over and HAD to buy a table. We frequently have ice cream dates instead of full on dinner dates, or go to the dollar theater instead of the real theater. We aren’t glamorous by any means, but those memories we are making as a young married couple are ones I will treasure.
- You’re more flexible and you have more free time – your career, interests, family, and hobbies all seem to take up a lot more time the older you get. There just seems to be less time available for everything. When you’re younger, you’re still figuring things out and you have more spare time, so it’s a great chance to devote your free time to building a strong marriage and investing in your spouse without all those distractions! And without kids (or likely even a house), you have so much more flexibility to do the things you really want to do that are harder to do later in life.
- We were built to have intimate relationships – no matter who you are or what your relationship status is, we were created to have intimate relationships. Your relationship with your spouse will probably be the most intimate one you have. It’s hard work but it’s so worth it to pour into another person the way you do with your spouse. And hopefully, you can be secure knowing that your spouse will never leave you and will choose to love you even when it’s hard, and even when you’re still growing up as a young spouse.
Thanks to my wonderful husband for showing me that getting married young is truly a freeing thing, no matter what the rest of the world thinks.
I would love to hear your thoughts on marriage – I’m always looking out for other couples’ wise words! Hope you guys enjoyed my first rogue post!