Fifth Key of Marriage Growth: Faith & Spirituality

It’s easy to view faith and spirituality as solely personal, individual things. Much of our culture’s mentality toward faith is: “I’ll do me, you do you.” But when it comes to your relationship with your spouse, I believe nothing is more important than sharing your faith and spiritual beliefs.

Many couples I’ve talked to struggle to have conversations about faith and spirituality, because it can feel so vulnerable. And while they recognize it’s important and meaningful, it can be difficult to squeeze in conversations about faith in the busyness of life. But as I mentioned in my post about the best marriage advice I’ve received, it’s important to prioritize the big things, not the small things, in your marriage.

I thought I would share 10 questions to help start a conversation with your spouse about your faith. Just because you have the same faith or spiritual beliefs does not necessarily mean you view every single thing the same way. Your spouse may have a different perspective. When asking these questions, do your best to show your spouse you are really listening to them and that you value what they have to say.

  1. What is something you have learned recently in your faith?
  2. Can you tell me about when you first believed in X?
  3. What is a spiritual belief you are really passionate about?
  4. How was faith treated in your family growing up?
  5. How have your spiritual beliefs changed as you’ve gotten older?
  6. Who has impacted your faith and spiritual beliefs the most?
  7. Is there anything about your spiritual beliefs you have changed your perspective on?
  8. What encourages you the most in your faith?
  9. What helps you overcome moments of doubt in your faith and spiritual beliefs?
  10. Who is someone you look up to in regards to faith?

I hope these questions help you talk about faith with your spouse. We don’t often pause to have these more meaningful conversations with our spouse – I’m guilty of it, too! But to continue growing together, these discussions are crucial to have in your marriage. If you want some more ideas for how to do this, I provide several suggestions in Rhythms of Relationship! I also invite you to join me this month in doing a prayer challenge – every day on my Instagram stories I’m sharing a verse to pray over your spouse.

Journal Question: How can you prepare the best environment to have a discussion about faith and spirituality with your spouse?

Additional Resource: Devotions for a Sacred Marriage: A Year of Weekly Devotions for Couples by Gary Thomas

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